Re: [OM] Elian Gonzales, Al Gore, and sex in the family

Subject: Re: [OM] Elian Gonzales, Al Gore, and sex in the family
From: Gary Schloss <schloss@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sat, 18 Nov 2000 00:48:00 -0800

The following post is very much ON TOPIC, but is not recommended for
the humor impaired, pregnant women, or pregnant chads.  :-) :-)

On Fri, 10 Nov 2000, Jim Timpe <Jim.Timpe@xxxxxxxxx> wrote
(in response to Sam Morales):

>The occasional fray into minor skirmishes seems to be tolerated by
>this group, as long as there is at least some pretense of OM content.

Jim T. is absolutely right: unfortunately, in his original post Sam M.
failed to connect this entire thing to OM-related issues.  (Remember,
Sam, it's all about the _issues_ !!)   So, pls let me add the missing
OM context.

First, VP Al Gore is definitely pro Olympus, a fact clearly demonstrated
by his wife Tipper, who is an avid photographer, and throughout the
campaign was seen taking numerous pictures with an Olympus Stylus zoom.
Besides, everypone knows that Al Gore invented the OTF/TTL flash,
multi-spot metering, and coined the dreadful word "CAMEDIA".

OTOH, George "Dubya" Bush is firmly opposed to manual focus, manual
film transport cameras incl. Olympus OM's, on the premise that manual
focusing, much like manual counting of the election ballots, is too
subjective and prone to human errors.

Moreover, the famously dyslexic Governor expressed his objections to
the fact that in OM cameras the film is transported from the Right to
the Left, which he felt was a translucent (sic) attempt by the Liberal
Communist Pinkos to "subliminably" subvert the minds of unsuspecting
American patriots.  Dubya demonstrated his conviction by "frying" a
black OM-1 on a replica of Florida's "Old Sparky", with his little bro'
Jeb looking over his shoulder.  (Jeb is being groomed for 2008.)

When members of the press corps gently pointed out that the film in OM
bodies actually moves from left to right, Bush's crafty aides quickly
apologized, saying that the Governor was given the wrong prop: it was
supposed to be an IS-3 or IS-30 camera.  However, they stood by the
Communist connection, claiming that design influences from the East
German Exaktas must have polluted the minds of Olympus engineers.

Finally, the Bush campaign has announced that neither Olympus nor
Minolta would be acceptable to the Republicans, because they use blue
color in their corporate and product logos.  (Blue is the TV color of
the Democrats.)  OTOH, the Bushies were positively bullish on Pentax,
which uses red color for its product logos, and they were neutral
about Canon, which uses both colors in their logos, sometimes red
and other times -- blue.  (These Canon guys!  They'll do _anything_
to increase their sales...)  There is no final decision about Nikon
(which uses black and yellow in their corporate logos).  The Governor
has appointed a special "red ribbon" commission to evaluate the Nikon

To summarize, I think it is abundantly clear from the above that the
current impasse in Florida has absolutely nothing to do with Elian
Gonzales.  The true reason is that too many Zuiks/Zuikettes in the
US in general, and in Florida in particular, were not aware of the
Republicans' OM-hostility, and simply did not go to the polls.

And the rest of them voted by mistake for Oskar Barnack (Leica)!

/Gary "The Spinmeister" Schloss.

P.S. To Hnz, Olafo, or FvL: Is it true that, should George W. Bush
lose Florida and the election, he has been offered the post of the
President of Friesland? :-) /G.S.

And now, on to a completely different subject:

On Sat, 11 Nov 2000, Andrew Fildes <afildes@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

>I just met up with a colleague from years back. [...] She claims that
>at family gatherings, as politics and religion CANNOT be mentioned,
>all she has left to talk about is sex.

Yuck!  Talking to one's family about sex?!  Yuck, yuck, yuck!!! It's
almost as bad as doing it with one's family members!  Unless, of course
one is from Appalachia, in which case the opposite may be true ...

Oops!  Since the unofficial Olympus FAQ now resides at the Appalachian
State University, maybe the above comment is dangerously inappropriate.
Sooooooo soooorrrrry.  :-) :-)

(Hmmm, might this new FAQ location explain why our little Zuik family
is increasingly dysfunctional?  Hmmm, I wonder...)

/Gary "Springer" Schloss.

DISCLAIMER:  All of the above is purely in jest.  Anyone who says
differently, or takes any of it seriously, is a major league Clymer.
Yeah, big time! :-) :-)


/Gary Schloss.
Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

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