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Re: [OM] Re: [OT] Bulwer Lytton Awards

Subject: Re: [OM] Re: [OT] Bulwer Lytton Awards
From: "John Pendley" <jpendley@xxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2001 10:52:47 -0400
This is just way too funny!  The "Running of the Pomeranians in
Liechtenstein"?  The lady had to have been on some really bad stuff.  This
makes me appreciate my senior high composition students, and I've always
respected them.  They often wrote real clunkers.  An example: "In this new,
futuristic society, women had the primary responsibility for having babies."
But their errors were honest; they didn't have the vocabulary or grasp of
syntax to write *this* badly.  And most of them had better taste.
Thanks for improving my morning, Garth.
JP

> At 10:04 AM 7/11/01 -0400, John Pendley wrote:
> >Wonderful!  This really has promise.  Are there other Bulwer Lytton
winners
> >that I have missed?
>
> Oh yes.  This year's crop appears to have a preponderance of Canadians
> winning the prize for the bes... er, worst writing.  Here's a couple of
> samples:
>
>
>  From Vancouver legal secretary Sera Kirk (overall 'winner'):
>
> "A small assortment of astonishingly loud brass instruments raced each
> other lustily to the respective ends of their distinct musical choices as
> the gates flew open to release a torrent of tawny fur comprised of angry
> yapping bullets that nipped at Desdemona's ankles, causing her to reflect
> once again (as blood filled her sneakers and she fought her way through
the
> panicking crowd) that the annual Running of the Pomeranians in
> Liechtenstein was a stupid idea."
>
>
>  From Nicolas Juzda of Toronto, 'Fantasy' category:
>
> "When the mightily-hewn warrior-hero Glark One-Ear, fed up with paying the
> tribute demanded by the despotic wizard Jormed-the-Doubly-Soulless, set
out
> to single-handedly unite the warring barbarian tribes of Verfot and lead
> them in bloodily overthrowing the evil mage's tyranny, he envisioned a
> progressive tax system based upon income brackets, yet allowing deductions
> for business expenses, dependents, and charitable donations."
>
>
>  From Bob Wakulich, of Cranbrook, B.C., 'Adventure' category:
>
> "If it weren't for the knee-high sewage lapping at his dress pants and the
> confused terrorist spraying automatic gunfire over his head between loud,
> emotional outbursts in a language that sounded like someone choking on
> gravel, Johnson could see little reason to change his mind about the
wisdom
> of registering at a two-star hotel."
>
>
> I love my fellow country-folk.  ;-)
>
> Garth
>
>
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