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Re: [OM] 'Diaphragm'

Subject: Re: [OM] 'Diaphragm'
From: Larry <Halpert@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Tue, 07 Aug 2001 04:07:28 -0400
 Olaf Greve wrote:

> Hi,
>
> >Isn't this all about English grammar?
>
> Arguably so. I would say, it was just about some English words rather than
> about English grammar as a whole...
>
> >Well, how about some grammar?  For instance, without too much emphasis on
> punctuation.....

Okay

Reasons Why the English Language is Hard to Learn...

   1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
   2) The farm was used to produce produce.
   3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
   4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
   5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
   6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
   7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
        present the present.
   8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
   9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
   10) I did not object to the object.
   11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
   12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
   13) They were too close to the door to close it.
   14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
   15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
   16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
   17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
   18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
   19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
   20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
   21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

  English muffins  weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
  Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We find that  quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig
is  neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but  fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese.  So one moose, 2 meese?  One index, 2 indices?
You can make amends but not one amend,
You comb  through annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do
you call
it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats  vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise
guy are opposites?
Your house  can burn up as it burns down
You fill in a form by filling it out
An alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by  people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity
of the human race  (which, of course, isn't a race at all).  That is why, when
the stars
are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Anyways.....
Larry








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