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[OM] (OT) Wyoming Tourism Council Bulletin

Subject: [OM] (OT) Wyoming Tourism Council Bulletin
From: RobBurn@xxxxxxx
Date: Tue, 21 Aug 2001 21:39:56 EDT
Things have gotten a bit tense of late. Thought we might enjoy a bit of 
humor.

Robert (Not from Wyoming, but I understand/appreciate the sentiments.)  ;-))

Wyoming Tourism Council Bulletin:

This list of rules will be handed to each person as they enter the 
state of Wyoming:

1.  That slope-shouldered ranch boy did more work before breakfast 
than you'll do all week at the gym.  He doesn't need your respect, 
but he sure as hell deserves it.

2.  It's called a "gravel road".  No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your BMW.  I have a four-wheel drive because 
I need it.  Drive your car or get it out of the way.

3.  We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi.  We got over it.

4.  Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will 
get your butt kicked . . . by our women.

5.  Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis fly rod.  Don't cry to us if a
walleye breaks it off at the handle.

6.  Untuck those cheap tourist cowboy boots you bought at Little 
America in Cheyenne.  You look like an idiot.

7.  If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it.  You might hope you don't have it up 
to your ear at the time.

8.  That's right.  Whiskey is only two bucks.  We can buy a fifth for
what you paid in the airport.

9.  High school football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks. . . and a dang sight more fun to watch.

10.  No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu.  Order steak.
Order it rare.  Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two 
pounds of ham and turkey.  And yeah, we have sweet tea.  It comes 
in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

11.  You bring Coke into our state, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.

12.  So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car.  We're real impressed.  
In Goshen County we have quarter of a million dollar combines that we 
drive two weeks a year.

13.  Let's get this straight.  We have one stoplight in town.  We stop
when it's red.  We may even stop when it's yellow.

14.  Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want to.  
So, you're a feminist - isn't that cute.

15.  You really want sushi and caviar?  It's available at the bait shop.

16.  They are pigs.  That's what they smell like.  Get over it.  Don't
like it?  Interstate 80 goes two ways - Interstate 25 goes the other 
two.  Pick one.

17.  The 'Opener' refers to the first day of pheasant season.  It's a
religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.  
You can get breakfast at the church.

18.  So every person in every pickup waves.  It's called being
friendly.  Try to understand the concept.

19.  Yeah, we have golf courses.  Don't hit in the water hazards.  It
spooks the fish.

Enjoy your visit, then head back to Colorado!

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