Brian.
Well said. If I may just add my own thoughts.
<disclaimer>
It's early here and I've been up since 4am so take this with a grain of salt
</disclaimer>
Men have a problem. I hope I'm not oversimplifying the situation when I say
that men need sex. I don't mean that they just want sex, they NEED
sex. Why do you think prostitution is such a big industry, but that's
another story.
If the man in a relationship wants a harmonious life with his significant
other (ie: access to regular sex) he will do ANYthing to keep the flow
going, and that includes giving up, or severely curtailing hobbies, such as
photography.
Being stuck with a nagging, bitchy wife that can turn off the supply if you
don't-do-what-she-says is what seems to be the general lot in life for
99.90f the male population. Except in Muslim countries apparently. Is
this just a Western phenomenon?
When I met my wife, we had a 9 and a half hour first date. The next day I
went to her place for lunch, then went to work, and then went back to stay
at her place that night, and we've been together every night since, for two
and a half years. Come July this year and we'll have been married two years.
I love my wife. She loves me. I pay her loving attention everyday. She
has her hobbies, and I have my hobbies and we have shared hobbies.
Our relationship is based on mutual respect, friendship, loyalty, trust and
monogamy. We communicate, on a lot of different levels. Many more times
than I can count we blurt of the exact same, or very similiar comment on
any given situation that we observed together.
I'd say we've had a total of 3 'disagreements' so far. I wouldn't even go
so far as to call them arguments.
After nine and a half hours of a first date, I knew this was the girl I
wanted to grab with both arms and never let go.
I've found mine. We found each other via the internet, she's American and
I'm Australian and I love her.
Guys, if you're not happy with what you've got, go find another, and
another until you find "the one". The world is a big place and it's roughly
50% women. Why settle for a miserable life? She's out there.
Chris in Oz
OM2sp
OM10q
xj900r
Suby L 4x4
At 08:42 AM 10/03/2002 +1300, you wrote:
Hi Fellow Zuiks,
I'm going to skate over thin ice here. (For those who have difficulty with
English language idiom, that means "do something perilous".)
It pains me to read as I do sometimes on this list, about people (and lets
face it, it's mainly guys) being intimidated in regard to following a hobby.
Now; I know that different societies have different ideas of what is
acceptable
behaviour. What is OK here, may not be OK there, and so on. I could maybe
be called a misogynist; my marriage is of low quality and I don't care.
I'm not
prepared to meekly put up with being "put down" and disrespect. So what I
write now has to be read with those qualifications in mind.
What I see in society these days is that it is Politically Correct to "put
down"
men in all walks of life, in all endeavours. It's worst in teaching; here
in NZ,
there is a constant call for more male teachers; that society is being
impoverished and twisted through boy pupils not having male role models in
their teachers. But you see what happens to any male who dares to put their
name forward as a kindergarten teacher, or a "new entrant" teacher. They are
treated as if they are a child molester who has dared to"come out of the
closet" - that there must be something queer in their mental makeup. It is
not sufficient for them to say that they like kids and working with them..
And
any older male who is forced to take a change of career and wants to try
teaching, especially is treated with the utmost scorn and turned away before
getting a foot in the door.
So - what's wrong with having photography as a serious hobby?
Sometimes it is that the hobby is treated as a challenge, another love, by
the wife who sees it as a rival to be put down immediately. A non-person that
she has to compete with for attention and she can't even give that non-
person a piece of her mind! (Yes, this happens, but I won't make this longer
with a real-life example). However, often, it seems to me, it is simply a
matter of disrespect, a matter of assuming that the photographer male is
inherently incapable of doing anything of value and worth other than bringing
home the cash required to support the family. That if it is not the
primary job,
then it is something trivial, to be treated with scorn and not as a
legitimate
activity and interest. That the male must at all times be subservient to the
needs of the family and spouse and have no interest to engage the mind
outside that area of interest.
Well, I have no patience with this treatment and frame of mind.
But for those who wish to preserve a harmonious marriage as well as engage
with respect in their hobby, what to do? You want to be taken seriously in
this matter.
After all the long rave above, all I can offer at this point is to suggest
that you
produce pictures worthy of admiration and have them framed and displayed
in your home where all can see them. Insist there be a place made for some
on your walls. Make them of good enough quality that they just MUST be
admired.
Insist in having some money of your own that you can use in pursuit of your
interest without further question, that you have to answer for to no-body but
yourself. And get on with it..
This may of course just bring on another attack of "put down the male". And I
have no answer that fits in, except to stand up for your rights to respect
and
to have an interest in what you believe in; and take the flak. But, here my
limitations let me down and I don't know what could be best for others.
Brian
< This message was delivered via the Olympus Mailing List >
< For questions, mailto:owner-olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >
< Web Page: http://Zuiko.sls.bc.ca/swright/olympuslist.html >
|