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Re: [OM] OM OT "The LOOK"

Subject: Re: [OM] OM OT "The LOOK"
From: Chris Waigl <chrisw@xxxxxxx>
Date: Sat, 16 Mar 2002 10:49:51 +0100
Le Sun, 10 Mar 2002 08:42:26 +1300, "Brian Swale" <bj@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
écrivit:

>It pains me to read as I do sometimes on this list, about people (and lets 
>face it, it's mainly guys) being intimidated in regard to following a hobby.
>[snip]

Brian,

I'm catching up with this list, which I usually adore, after being
off sick for a while. As a woman whose hobby is photography I am really
quite saddened by your post and its generalisations. You own your 
opinions, but I believe you overstepped what is fit to be posted here. 

Without going into technical arguments about the relations between women
and men in "Western" societies, I'd just ask you to consider the 
following:

-- Isn't it "mainly guys" simply because on this list, like many online
   forums, heterosexual men are in the majority (which is not the case,
   say, among photography students over here, or already in many "real 
   life" photography clubs")? So of course, those who complain about 
   their partner not understanding their dedication to zuikoholism will
   typically complain about a woman.

-- For what it's worth, it is certainly not my life experience that 
   the problem you describe hits men more often than women. There are 
   women who fail to be able to communicate their dedication to a hobby
   to their partners, there are men for whom this is the case. There are
   men who moan about or ridicule what's important for their partners,
   there are women who engage in this unpleasant behaviour.

>Now; I know that different societies have different ideas of what is 
>acceptable 
>behaviour. What is OK here, may not be OK there, and so on. I could maybe 
>be called a misogynist; my marriage is of low quality and I don't care. I'm 
>not 
>prepared to meekly put up with being "put down" and disrespect. So what I 
>write now has to be read with those qualifications in mind.

-- Being "put down" is certainly nothing I could accept in my 
   relationship. This list, however, strikes me as particularly unlikely
   to be able to resolve relationship problems -- bad communication,
   jealousy, lack of understanding for the other's needs and wishes --
   whether individually or collectively.

Your arguments are bound to offend many women and men who don't have
this outlook on relationships and don't engage in petty putdowns.
If this is your opinion, pease keep it off the list. Thanks.

Chris Waigl

-- 
"On m'a donné un service où j'ai à enseigner de l'histoire naturelle à 
des gamines de 10 à 14 ans! C'est pour prouver que ce que j'ai fait ici 
ne devait pas servir à mon enseignement. J'ai même à faire des cours
d'économie domestique!"  Marthe Klein, X-ray technician instructor and
    university-level certified physics teacher, letter to M. Curie, 1919

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