First, my credentials. I'm a fan of Joni Mitchell & Bob Dylan, okay? For the
lyrics, of course.
Now, Tom, this is really funny and original. Admittedly, there are only about
5,000 people on the planet who would get ALL of these
"inside" jokes but it's still a very nice piece of writing.
Mocking "the digital family" on their "falling values" was uhh... hell, I'll
just say it:
that was brilliant.
Lama
----- Original Message -----
From: "Tom Scales" <tscales@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "Olympus List" <olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, June 13, 2003 6:36 PM
Subject: [OM] Oh no....
> The rumbling started slowly, from the top shelf. At first I thought it was
> sounds from the outside, but no, it was in the house.
>
> It was the patriach of the family, Mr. OM-1. He and the missus, Mrs. OM-2,
> were unhappy. At first I thought it was just a spat, after all, they've been
> together for 24 years, but then the disquiet spread.
>
> First I started hearing from the baby of the family, OM-4T. He's a bit worn
> around the edges, clearly the black sheep, make that titanium sheep, of the
> family, but he was unhappy too. His brother, the REAL black sheep, OM-4T
> Black got into too. He's just back in the family, after a harrowing year
> away from home and he came back injured and scarred.
>
> I knew it was a problem, but I tried to ignore it. I just pretended it
> wasn't happening.
>
> Then the cousins got involved. Mr. 90/2 took a close look at it along with
> his little brother, Mr. 50/3.5. Mr. 350/2.8 looked from farther away. Ms.
> 21/3.5 had a different perspective and Ms. 35 Shift's was even more
> off-center. Mr. 50/1.8 thought everything was pretty normal, but Ms.
> 35-70/3.5-4.5 couldn't make up her mind but kept trying to zoom in on the
> problem.
>
> But it only got worse. The whole neighborhood was involved by now. Mr. T18
> tried to shed some light on the problem but, well, he wasn't really bright
> enough. Let's face it, Ms. T20 wasn't much brighter, but their uncle, Mr.
> T32 sure did clear things up, especially when he joined together with his
> twin brother and their friend, Mr. Multiconnector.
>
> All the time though, I kept hearing this dull roar. I couldn't figure out
> what it was --- buzz, quiet, buzz, quiet, buzz. Oh, them. Mr. Motordrive 2
> and Mrs. Winder 2. They're ALWAYS trying to fire things up. Troublemakers,
> that whole family.
>
> Things started to improve though when Mr. T32 climbed up on Mr. Bounce Grip
> 2. Yes, much brighter now.
>
> Finally, I saw the light.
>
> There were two issues.
>
> The first, was the biggest problem but one I think I can solve.
> Overcrowding. It's a popular community and there have just been too many new
> arrivals. Let's face it, when four members of the 24/2.8 all show up at
> once, you know there are going to be issues. Don't even get me started on
> that huge crowd of 50/1.8s living in a box! I mean we're not that diverse,
> the last 300/4.5 family moved out yesterday, but there are bodies
> everywhere! Mr. OM-10, Mr. OM-1 and all of his brothers, even Mr. OM-3Ti,
> although admittedly he's just passing through and then is going to blow town
> with Ms. 35 Shift, Mr. 21/2 and Mr. 18/3.5. Quite a crowd, that is huh.
>
> So, I worked and worked and worked and am finally clearing some new shelf
> space and spreading things out. New homes for everyone. While I was at it,
> we hadn't done the family portrait thing in awhile, so we're getting nice
> fresh shots of everyone.
>
> Which brings us to the other issue.
>
> Mr. E20 and his friends, Mr. Pentax 430 and Mr. Kodak 280. We think of
> ourselves as an open-minded community, but you know those digital people.
>
> Values falling fast.
>
> Always a newer family, but even they seem to affect property values.
>
> But I sat down and had a heart to heart with everyone. The old familes, the
> new families and the outsiders.
>
> I told them that I can do something about the overcrowding, and I'm working
> on it. Some of them will probably get new homes and some will stick around.
> I also told them that they better get used to it.
>
> The Digital family is here to stay.
>
> Tom
> Inspired by Ag Schnozz.....
>
>
>
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