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RE: [OM] The Fine Art of Increasing the Value of Fine Art

Subject: RE: [OM] The Fine Art of Increasing the Value of Fine Art
From: "James N. McBride" <jnmcbr@xxxxxxx>
Date: Mon, 28 Jul 2003 21:42:21 -0600
Unfortunately, this is probably sound advice. /jim

-----Original Message-----
From: owner-olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:owner-olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of John A. Lind
Sent: Monday, July 28, 2003 8:45 PM
To: olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [OM] The Fine Art of Increasing the Value of Fine Art


Although obliquely related to OM gear I thought I would post this to the
list.  A first cousin once removed (son of a cousin) mentioned he was
seeking eccentric millionaires to buy some post-modern clay pieces he had
made at a summer camp.  He will be visiting us for a while in about a
week.  I sent him the following as a guide to the value of fine art
sculpture and how he might maximize the value of his.

There are parallels with fine art photography, so I pass this on for your
enlightenment and enjoyment . . .

OM Content:
You too can create fine art photography with your OM system!

XXXXX,
The Gallery Director of the Indiana University, Kokomo, Art Gallery is a
personal acquaintance.  I can introduce you to her as a newly discovered,
up and coming sculptor . . . a child prodigy and rising star in the world
of Fine Art.

John's Quick Guide to the Fine Art of Increasing the Value of Fine Art:

1.  Simplicity of line and shape:
Rounded, smooth surfaces with one curved line, two at the most, work
best.  An oval or oblong hole in an odd location somewhere off-center is a
bonus.  Value is inversely proportional to complexity of line, shape and
texture.

2.  Abstraction:
The more it makes "normal" people wonder what it is, and why you made it,
the more valuable it is.  The value of artwork is directly proportional to
its "enigma factor."

3.  Title:
Works in conjuntion with the abstraction.  The best titles are formed by
using a noun followed by a past-tense action verb, and then a two-digit ODD
number:  "Pyramid morphed #49" would work exquisitely to desribe a long
twisted mass with only round surfaces, no sharp edges, no straight lines,
and having an oblong hole somewhere.  The more the sculpture makes them
wonder how you got to it starting from a pyramid shape that it no longer
bears any resemblance to, the better.  The number makes them think you've
done an entire series of different ones, studying the
concept.  Single-digit is no good; it's too early in the concept and
implies it's too simplistic.  Triple-digit implies you've studied it to
death and should have moved on to another concept; that you're stuck in a
rut and are likely at a nadir in your career.  Two-digit though indicates a
concept that's mature in your study of it, and therefore is at the zenith
of sophistication and complexity.

4.  Hob-Nobbing with Patrons:
It is supremely important to be able to mix properly with the eccentric
millionaires who think they know about art.  Potential buyers want to meet
the artist.  Gallery directors want to put them on parade, as if they're
one of the art pieces.  You want to appear worldly and cosmopolitan, not
provincial, and NOT from wherever you happen to be at the time, but from
somewhere eles far away.  But . . . you cannot let them get to know you too
much.  You must appear to be somewhat an enigma . . . that your brain is
wired completely differently from the rest of the "normal" world . . . and
that is how you attain the "artistic visions" for your works that mere
mortals can never hope to achieve.

4a.  Attire:
Dress oddly.  Not "geek" . . . just weird . . . there is a
difference.  Monotone works, especially all black (Fall/Winter) and very
heavy in fabric weight, or all white (Spring/Summer) and very light in
weight.  Wear a hat.  Not a ballcap!  No beret!!  Fall/Winter: trilby
fedora; same color as monotone clothing.  If it's cold, wear a trenchcoat
or long heavy overcoat that falls below the knee.  Spring/Summer:  panama
fedora.  Regardless of season, wear a sport-coat: coarse-woven tweed, or
even better, corduroy; denim might work if it's the right color; white
linen may also work with monotone white.  No blazers!  Definitely no
suits!!!  Most definitely NO tie!!!!  Turtle-neck (Winter only) or band
collar.  A coat must be worn as if it's a cape, and it's never taken off
indoors, even if you're sweltering.  In other words, you put it over your
shoulders without putting your arms in the sleeves.  This takes a bit of
practice in moving about, sipping wine, nibbling on cheese cubes, and not
letting it fall off your shoulders.  Fitting your shoulders, nape of neck
and draping down over your back well helps.  That's all you need worry
about in buying one.  Sleeve length doesn't matter as you'll never use
them, and proper taper at the waist isn't important as you'll never button
it.  Jackets or parkas are a NO NO!  So are mittens, unless they're woven
wool and have the ends cut off where the fingertips go.  Use pinking shears
to do this and play with the ends a bit as you want a bit of
fray.  Otherwise, it's leather dress gloves.  Italian woven leather loafers
work with white; Doc Martens with black.  No sandals and no
tennie-floppers.  Socks are optional.  Shoes are optional if you're
sufficiently avant garde with the rest to get away with it.

4b.  Name Dropping:
Learn the names of the major, nationally known galleries.  Learn the names
of a half-dozen or so major, nationally known sculptors and a little about
their work (style, school, etc.).  Make and memorize an outline of the
major periods of European and American sculpture, and the major historical
"schools."  Be able to drop a handful of famous names, at least two from
each period.  Europeans: know their nationalities.  Americans: know their
region (New England, Mid-West, Deep South, etc.).

4c.  Eloquence:
Learn what the "formal elements" are:  point, line, shape, texture, value
(light versus dark), color, space.  Practice forming arcane and esoteric
sentences mixing in these terms with artists names:  "I admire how Edward
Weston used nothing but shape and value to create a sense of depth and
space in his still lifes."  Speak about your works already being present in
the masses of clay before you start; that you have a "vision" of what it
is; and you simply remove the excess clay to reveal it.  Avoid conversing
long with those who have university degrees in Fine Art.  They'll know more
than you, ask probative questions about what you think about artists,
"schools," periods and/or styles, and your facade will crumble.

Hope this helps!

-- John


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