The night was dark, the sky was blue;
Down the alley the speech cops flew.
There was a crash, a scream was heard;
A man was killed by a misused word.
A recent flurry of repetitions of the same offense has prompted
the speech police to issue the following alert. The culprits'
names will not be made public and, in fact, have been forgotten
and/or changed to protect the innocent.
"Jive" as a noun: Swing music or the dancing performed to it.
Glib, deceptive or foolish talk, the jargon of hipsters, a special
jargon of difficult or slang terms.
"Jive" as a verb: To tease, cajole, to speak deceptively.
Usage example: "I find out you be jivin' me, man, I pop a cap in
yo' ass."
"Jibe," always a verb (omitting the sailing-related definitions):
To be in accord, to agree with.
Usage example: "Your figures and the government's figures don't
jibe, so it looks like somebody's going to jail."
Please excuse the interruption. You may now go back to whatever
you were doing previously.
This announcement was made necessary due to circumstances beyond
my control, and I hope no one takes offense. My mother, both
grandmothers (a.k.a. competitive babysitters), three aunts, an
uncle, several cousins, and at least one ex-wife were or are
teachers. The overwhelming, unrelenting and insidiously
subversive influence they have had on me has resulted in my having
a streak of schoolmarm in me that I am unable to control at
times. This has been one of those times.
Walt, living proof that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing
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