With yet another political convention looming here, it may be appropriate to
provide a little information to help the less interested and/or informed sort
out some of the various factions involved in all this foolishness. So, here
goes.
QUESTION: How do you tell the difference between liberals, moderates,
conservatives, and Southern conservatives?
ANSWER: Pose the following question:
You are walking down a deserted street with your wife, two small children and
as much of your OM kit as you can comfortably carry. Suddenly, a dangerous
looking man with a huge knife leaps from a darkened doorway right in front of
you. He locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and
charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
LIBERAL'S ANSWER:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would provoke this attack?
Should we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety features built into it?
Why in the name of God am I carrying a gun anyway?
What kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with killing just me, taking my Zuikos and sparing
my wife and kids?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day to make this a happier,
healthier neighborhood that would discourage such anti-social behavior.
This is so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a
consensus.
MODERATE'S ANSWER:
"Stop, you &*^#%$@), or I'll blow your *#&%$@ head off!"
CONSERVATIVE'S ANSWER:
BANG!
SOUTHERN CONSERVATIVE'S ANSWER:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"
Walt, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, so those too seriously inclined
should please refrain from getting their knickers in a knot. :-)
--
"Anything more than 500 yards from
the car just isn't photogenic." --
Edward Weston
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