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[OM] Re: A Royal OM opportunity [now OT]

Subject: [OM] Re: A Royal OM opportunity [now OT]
From: Steve Dropkin <steve@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 02:51:18 -0600
Scott Gomez wrote:

> Cats *know*
> they're royalty. They *think* we're a bunch of twits for not treating
> them as such.

Dog & Cat Diaries

Excerpts from a dog's diary:

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm  - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm  - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm  - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!


Excerpts from a cat's diary:

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little 
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am 
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the 
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the 
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around 
their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this 
at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these 
vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their 
favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in 
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to 
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended 
about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to 
plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good 
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it 
included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds 
could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of 
thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I 
was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear 
the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call 
"beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to 
MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it 
to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe 
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to 
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has 
got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain 
he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal 
room his safety is assured.

But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

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