I love it, and it couldn't be more true!
Darin
----- Original Message -----
From: "Steve Dropkin" <steve@xxxxxxxxxxx>
To: <olympus@xxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, March 17, 2006 12:51 AM
Subject: [OM] Re: A Royal OM opportunity [now OT]
>
> Scott Gomez wrote:
>
>> Cats *know*
>> they're royalty. They *think* we're a bunch of twits for not treating
>> them as such.
>
> Dog & Cat Diaries
>
> Excerpts from a dog's diary:
>
> Day number 180
> 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
>
> Day number 181
> 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
>
> Day number 182
> 8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
> 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
> 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
> 1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
> 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
> 5:30 pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
>
>
> Excerpts from a cat's diary:
>
> DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
> dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
> forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
> hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
> occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
>
> DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
> their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this
> at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these
> vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
> favorite chair...must try this on their bed.
>
> DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
> attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
> strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
> about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
> plan.
>
> DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
> reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it
> included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds
> could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of
> thumb still stuck between my teeth.
>
> DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I
> was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear
> the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call
> "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to
> MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it
> to my advantage.
>
> DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
> snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
> return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
> got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain
> he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal
> room his safety is assured.
>
> But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
>
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