Feeling silly today, I suppose, so I have to share this. It was posted on the
Vols' Chat website by the father of one of our just-graduated California import
linebackers, Kevin Simon.
Here it is. I hope nobody gets offended more than amused.
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NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND.... I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out
loud. These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district.
Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please
execute
him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and
also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a
tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in
the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very
close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Pleaseexcuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea
direathe the shits.
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his
boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i
don't
know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the
sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday we thought it was
sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend
with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could
not
breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat,
headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her
brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either,
sore
throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot
last night.
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I'll try to behave better tomorrow. :-)
Walt
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