> From: Andrew Fildes <afildes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
>
> All I meant was that when you're all fired up or pissed off, then
> even a reasonable point can seem like unbearable smugness or a direct
> and personal attack.
Yea, what Franklin said! (Below, sorry for the length, it's worth the
read if you haven't seen it before.)
:::: I made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions to the
sentiments of others, and all positive assertion of my own. I even
forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language
that imported a fixed opinion, such as ‘certainly’, ‘undoubtedly’,
etc. I adopted instead of them ‘I conceive’, ‘I apprehend’, or ‘I
imagine’ a thing to be so or so; or ‘so it appears to me at present’.
When another asserted something that I thought an error, I denied
myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing him
immediately some absurdity in his proposition. In answering I began
by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would
be right, but in the present case there appeared or seemed to me some
difference, etc. I soon found the advantage of this change in my
manner; the conversations I engaged in went on more pleasantly. The
modest way in which I proposed my opinions procured them a readier
reception and less contradiction. I had less mortification when I was
found to be in the wrong, and I more easily prevailed with others to
give up their mistakes and join with me when I happened to be in the
right. -- Benjamin Franklin ::::
:::: Jan Steinman http://www.VeggieVanGogh.com ::::
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