It is only the fifth of the month and at work I am submerged already
in plastic trees, tacky tinsel, demands for presents (your receipient
is.........don't spend more than $15-20 on the utterly inappropriate,
useless and pointless gift that you are obliged to buy for someone
you neither know nor wish to know.")
Christmas musak in the foyer, sounds that appear to be bad tunes
picked out on a broken xylophone by a deranged midget.
Sudden outbreaks of very nasty food (try it or you'll hurt her
feelings).
Surprise raids by former staff members bearing very small, noisy,
smelly children - just to demonstrate that they too can breed. Worse,
members of staff simpering loudly over the obnoxious brats.
Relentless extroverts refusing to take no for an answer.
I attempt to defend myself with the following statements -
1) I'm sorry, I'm not a Christian. (Look seriously annoyed and
opressed).
2) We don't have any family here so we don't bother with it. (Smile,
encourage concern or guilt).
3) Don't you think it's all in such, y'know, bad taste? (Wave at the
crappy decorations).
4) Parties? Oh, most people I know have the good sense to get out of
the State, or even the country.
5) Compliments of the season? What, the whole season?
6) No, I was enjoying a quiet read and a coffee.
7) If it's that important, why didn't anyone write decent music for
it? Did they? Oh. Why do they only play bad versions of the rubbish
then?
8) No, I'm not a Scrooge - I'm just so over it.
9) I'm sorry, I have a low tolerance for low class entertainments.
10) Are you drunk?
Peace on earth and goodwill to all men - we can get back to shooting
them tomorrow when we sober up.
Andrew Fildes (newly converted Pastafarian)
afildes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
On 05/12/2007, at 10:51 AM, Moose wrote:
> I'm not much of a believer in Christmas myself, but see no reason to
> intrude on the celebrations of others. Now that my children are
> grown, I
> largely eschew participation in the commercial aspects. I don't
> find it
> in me to disagree with "Peace on Earth and good will to men.", in
> spite
> of my theo/pholosophical suspicions about peace.
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