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Re: [OM] For the pilots among us

Subject: Re: [OM] For the pilots among us
From: "Jim Nichols" <jhnichols@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2012 20:29:42 -0600
Glad to hear the good news, Bob.  Keep smiling!

Jim Nichols
Tullahoma, TN USA
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bob Whitmire" <bwhitmire@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "Olympus Camera Discussion" <olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 7:28 PM
Subject: Re: [OM] For the pilots among us


> I'm sitting in my son's room in CT-ICU at Maine Medical Center laughing my 
> ass off. That might sound inappropriate, considering why and where I am, 
> but we've just been informed that Ben will be exiting ICU for step-down 
> (rehab) in the next day or two. That causes us to believe that he's 
> officially out of the woods, barring some freakish happenstance.
>
> Thanks for the laughter!
>
> --Bob
>
>
> On Feb 22, 2012, at 3:23 PM, Wiliam Wagenaar wrote:
>
>> Just received this message from my brother in law and thought you might 
>> also
>> have a laugh.
>>
>>
>>
>> Wiliam.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Qantas Airlines: Repair Division
>>
>> In case you need a laugh:
>> Remember, it takes a College Degree to fly a plane but only a High School
>> Diploma to fix one.
>> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet'
>> which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
>> The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, 
>> and
>> then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.
>> Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
>> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
>> (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
>> maintenance engineers.
>>
>> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
>> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
>>
>> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>>
>> P: Something loose in cockpit.
>> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>>
>> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>>
>> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute 
>> descent.
>> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>>
>> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>> S: Evidence removed.
>>
>> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>>
>> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>> S: That's what friction locks are for.
>>
>> P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
>> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>>
>> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>> S: Suspect you're right.
>>
>> P: Number 3 engine missing.
>> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>>
>> P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)
>> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>>
>> P: Target radar hums.
>> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>>
>> P: Mouse in cockpit.
>> S: Cat installed.
>>
>> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget 
>> pounding
>> on something with a hammer.
>> S: Took hammer away from midget.
>
> -- 
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>
> 


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